jueves, 6 de agosto de 2009

¿Golden Boys?

Hace ya bastante tiempo que quería escribir unos comentarios sobre las personalidades de los distintos Banqueros. Pero nunca me animé. Varios superiores merodean por estos pagos, y como buenos banqueros (mucha soberbia, poco humor) no tengo idea de cómo se lo van a tomar.
Si lo leen, no se enojen… es humor (viste eso que te pasa cuando te reís… bueno, eso). Supongo que sabrán entender.

Golden Boys de Hernán Iglesias es un excelente libro. Quizás si no estás metido en esto te parezca un libro más. Pero a mí me hizo muy bien. Me hizo sentir un poco más normal en lo que pienso de estos muchachotes. Y quería compartir en QLP algunos comentarios personales.
Lo que dice Iglesias básicamente es que en los Bancos de Inversión tradicionales hay tres patas con tres prototipos de argentinos:

1) Traders: son los pibes cancheritos de barrio que generalmente empezaron en las mesas de dinero de la city porteña. Son los que eventualmente te pueden fundir un país con sólo apretar un botón que diga "Vender Bonos Globales". Es el argento que se llenó de guita. Su escala de valores: maradona, dios, Ellos. La verdad: todos queremos ser traders, y justificar el millón de dólares del bono anual diciendo que tenemos una gran “intuición”. Los más afortunados se jactan de que invirtieron 1/10 de tiempo y dinero en educación en comparación contigo, y ganan 11x veces más.

2) Investment Bankers: son los nenes ricos de facultades y colegios privados, que se "autoflagelan" laburando 19 horas por día para mostrar que son mucho más disciplinados que los traders. Son los que eventualmente cambian mercados enteros fusionando empresas y justificando la transacción diciendo que hay sinergias INCREIBLES dado que los 10.500 empleados en la planta de San Pablo están de más dado que la estructura que ya tengo en Brasil me sirve para bancar la operación de la empresa que queres comprar.

3) Private Bankers: son los que tienen el "encanto", el que le vende ketchup en helado a una mina con guantes blancos. El que esta pituco todo el día, Ermenegildo Zegna de pies a cabeza. No cambian nada, y se la pasan chupándole las medias a sus clientes. Eso sí, giras por Punta del Este en verano para recaudar fondos.

Yo quería agregar lo siguiente.

Me asombra la poca capacidad técnica de los traders, y la GRAN habilidad que tienen muchos de ellos para leer los diarios. Ven rumores donde no los ve nadie, y no ven nada cuando la mayoría ve un gran rumor. Yo creo que todos los argentinos nacimos para ser traders. Las ruedas entre los grupitos locales se viven como se vive un River-Boca, gritándole los goles al boludo de al lado. ¿¡No es genial!? Me encantaría probarlo alguna vez.

IB. Es toda una mentira. Se la dan de glamorosos por dos burbujas de champagne al año (puff y que buen año si vemos dos burbujas!). Los otros 363 días (si si 363 porque contamos Sábados y Domingos) se la pasan sentados atrás de una computadora. Pero lo peor de todo, lo que más me irrita, es el círculo perverso que se fue degenerando. Funciona así: el viernes el MD (Managing Director) se va al baño con el diario y lee que Mastellone quiere vender. Sale del baño y llama a su VP (Vice-President) y le dice que el lunes mismo quiere ir a ver al viejo con una presentación corta, de 350 / 400 hojitas. El VP sale corriendo a despertar al Associate (que no había dormido porque ayer fueron a pitchear a Elsztain) y este despierta al Analista que ya esta pasadísimo de rosca con 4 red bulls encima. Laburan todo el día, llega el sábado, laburan todo el día, llega el domingo, laburan todo el día. Domingo a la noche, llamados desesperados del VP: “el gráfico de la página 278 esta en verde!!! Lo quería en rooojooo!!”. OK. Llega el lunes, van a la reunión… y resulta ser que Mastellone ahora no quiere vender, sino que quiere restructurar. Ahí mismo el MD llama al VP para armar una presentación de reestructuración…y etc. En lo particular, me parece que se trabaja muy mal en esta industria.

Bue… me quería descargar de la semana que tuve.

122 comentarios:

Bernard L. Madoff dijo...

Muy bueno Kenneth. Gracias por hacernos partícipes de ese mundo vedado para los que nos gusta derivar e igualar a cero.

Si tuvieras que ponerle un número, ¿cuántos son los Golden Boys, los que te pueden fundir un país con apretar "Vender Bonos Globales", como dice Hernanii? ¿100, 200 tipos?

Rothbard dijo...

Esa industria, esta industria, todo el país diría que funciona así de espasmódico.

J.M. Aguilar dijo...

Sí, pero en este caso ya no estamos hablando de este país, Rothbard. El IB funciona así en todos lados. En Brasil debe ser peor.

No sé bien qué decir, porque si bien te amaga todo el tiempo con explotarte la cabeza, también es verdad que te convertís en un robot a prueba de balas (?). Y unos añitos más tarde, en el MD que se va a al baño a cagar con el diario que dice que Mastellone quiere vender...

Frank Pentangeli dijo...

No creo que sea todo una mentira Kenneth. Son tipos a prueba de balas. Cuanto mas duro sos, mejor.

Igual me cague de risa en el capitulo de "Los Soprano" cuando Cristopher Moltisanti se carga a un "J.P. Morgan motherfucker".

Muy buen post, me gusto mucho. Y el libro ese Golden Boys es muy recomendable.

P07@ dijo...

Jajajaja, lindo, lindo post Kenneth. El libro ese ya me lo han recomendado (de hecho, creo que fue el nene quien lo leyó hace un par de años), así que le pegaré una hojeada probablemente en mis próximas vacaciones.
Igual, tu caracterización de los IB se puede proyectar tranquilamente en miles de otras industrias, algo un poco menos trágico de hecho me sucedió en el laburo hace un par de semanas, donde me maté para deducir de dónde salía una fórmula para que después el jefe me dijera "ahh, pero yo no quería saber eso, todo lo que me interesaba era saber si era esta cosa o la otra", y obviamente no era ninguna de las dos.
Slds.

Carlito Brigante dijo...

Igual me parece que a lo que se refiere Kenneth es que lo de el es cotidiano.
A nadie le gusta laburar "al pedo" y por lo que se desprende del post es que en IB es el 90% del tiempo. Por mas que uno intente minimizar laburar al pedo no siempre se puede, en otras industrias hay metas mas definidas y no tan aleatorias como las de IB.

Frank Pentangeli dijo...

Y si. El IB sabe que no todos los laburos que haga van a salir pero tampoco cuales. Entonces no le queda otra que laburar para todos (y maximizar su beneficio esperado) o no??

Tincho dijo...

Que semanita que tuviste Kenneth!

Eso puede pasar en cualquier lado que viva histericos por correr atras del rumor, la primicia, etc. Imaginate un periodista.

Conclusión: metele un valium en el cafe al jefe.

J.M. Aguilar dijo...

Creo que el “equilibrio” es precisamente que te hinches las pelotas, te canses, te vayas a la mierda y emprendas tu propio proyecto. Buscado o no, es así. Hay gente que llega a la etapa de hincharse las bolas, y hay otra que ni siquiera aguanta el primer día.

Creo que llegaste, Kenneth. Te felicito. Estás en camino al éxito!

JMT dijo...

Kenneth, excelente idea mencionar el libro, para mi uno de los mejores que lei ultimamente.
Es verdad eso de las mesas, por ahora tengo la suerte (suerte porque la verdad que la paso barbaro) de ser parte de una y en mi opinion es lo mas parecido a un cuarto año de colegio de curas.
Igual ojo que el perfil del trader "no fui a la facultad pero te rompo el culo porque tengo calle y me timbeo un palo sin mosquearme porque tengo huevo" ya de a poco esta desapareciendo.
A que te dedicas Kenneth? IB?

Kenneth Dart dijo...

Si.

M&A.

En que mesa estas?

JMT dijo...

Criteria
con que M&A? Ahora entiendo tu necesidad de descargarte.
No te mato la parte donde el flaco se da cuenta que no quiere seguir laburando en IB cuando esta a las 3 de la mañana de un sabado calculando cuanto van a costar las tuercas de Atucha en el 2050? y los mensaje que le dejaban en el cel cuando se fue a jugar al golf? Me imagino que te debes haber sentido muy identificado

Kenneth Dart dijo...

Jajaja...
Si, terrible!
El pibe de JPM que se hincha los huevos y compra acciones de Baby&Cotton... genial!
Lo maneja todo desde Miami...

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